In recognition of Pink Shirt Day 2026, Dr. Crystal reflects on bullying, healthy peer relationships, and how parents can support their children.

At CARE Psychology, supporting healthy relationships is something we care deeply about.

For me personally, bullying has been a long-standing area of academic focus and research, alongside my clinical work. Over the years, I have had the opportunity to study peer relationships in depth and to work alongside teachers, parents, and students in understanding how we respond to bullying in meaningful ways.

Today I want to reflect on Pink Shirt Day and talk about how parents can support their children and teens who may experience bullying.

When I was completing my Master’s degree, I had the opportunity to travel to Ontario and meet one of the founders of Pink Shirt Day. What struck me most was not just the campaign itself. It was how it began.

It happened from the ground up. It was not a policy initiative. It was not created by adults. It was students standing up for another student who had been targeted for wearing a pink shirt.

They could have looked away. They could have stayed silent. They could have told themselves it was not their problem. Instead, they stood up. They stood together in solidarity to support that child and to change their school community.

They did not give a speech. They did not demand attention. They did not really say anything other than banding together in a “Sea of Pink”.

And yet … they said everything. They shifted power.

And that is how change happens.

That experience stayed with me. It shaped how I think about bullying, belonging, and the role we play as parents in supporting healthy relationships.

Standing Up Instead of Standing By

Bullying thrives in silence. It grows when witnesses become an audience. One of the most powerful ideas in bullying prevention is not only stopping harmful behaviour, but strengthening the courage and connection of the group.

Most children are not actively being bullied or bullying others. The majority are witnesses. Their response matters.

When children choose to:

Walk away from the audience
Support the child who is being targeted
Report the behaviour to a trusted adult
Assertively say “that’s not okay”

Power shifts. What we know from observational research is that the majority of the time bullying stops within 10 seconds if a witness stands up for a student being bullied.

Standing up together changes the culture of a classroom, a team, or a school. Pink Shirt Day reminds us that collective action is powerful. One voice matters. A group of voices changes everything.

Understanding Bullying

In order to stand up effectively, we need to understand what we are standing up to. Not every conflict is bullying. Disagreements between peers of equal power are a normal part of development and require skill-building and repair. Not every mean, cruel, or aggresive behaviour is bullying either.

Bullying is a distinct form of aggression that involves:

Intentional harm
Repetition over time
An imbalance of power

Bullying is a relationship problem. It is about an imbalance of power and one child (or a group of children) trying to gain power over another child (or group). Power in childhood and adolescence can be subtle. It may involve popularity, group membership, physical strength, or influence in online spaces. Bullying involves repeated harm where one child holds more power than another.

By standing up, power can be redistributed. Pink Shirt Day is proof of that.

Why Healthy Relationships Matter

Throughout my graduate research and doctoral work, I have focused on youth relationships, bullying, and peer dynamics. One theme has remained consistent. Peer relationships can shape identity. They shape belonging. They shape how children see themselves.

When children feel supported by peers, their confidence grows. When they feel isolated or targeted, their sense of self can suffer. One positive peer can make a world of difference and that peer can be from any environment: school, community, neighbourhood, a club, a sport, an activity, and even sometimes online. We have found that positive peer relationships can buffer the negative impact bullying can have on a child’s mental health.

Healthy peer relationships include:

Emotional safety
A sense of belonging
Shared power
Mutual respect
Repair after conflict

When we teach children what healthy relationships look like, we give them something to stand for, not just something to stand against.

Moving Beyond the Myths

It is easy to simplify bullying into labels. All children who are victimized are not alike, just like all children who bully are not alike. Children who are targeted may be shy, anxious, different in some way, or simply vulnerable in a particular moment.

Children who bully may lack relational skills, struggle with regulation, or sometimes use social skill strategically to maintain status. Bullying happens within a social system. It involves group processes, belonging, and power.

Which means prevention also happens within relationships.

What Parents Can Do

Standing up together does not begin at school. It begins at home.

Children are more likely to stand up for others when they feel securely connected to adults who model empathy and courage.

Here are ways parents can support this:

Be a positive role model.
Stay connected.
Be ready to listen.
Respond calmly, even when you feel angry or afraid.

If your child is being bullied:

Reassure them that you will help. At the same time, resist the urge to rush in and “fix” everything. Many children hesitate to tell their parents because they fear it will make things worse.

Work with your child to gather information and think through next steps together. You can role play ways to respond, identify safe peers and adults, and consider how to increase their sense of safety.

Collaborate with the school in a calm, solution-focused way. Follow up and monitor how the plan is working.

Help your child build confidence and belonging in other spaces. Encourage involvement in activities where they feel safe, valued, and competent.

If your child is engaging in bullying behaviour:

Address it directly.

Provide clear limits.

Use consequences that teach rather than shame.

Build empathy and accountability.

Re-channel the misuse of power into leadership and positive influence.

If your child is witnessing bullying:

Reinforce that telling is not tattling. Telling is about getting someone out of trouble and keeping them safe. Tattling is about getting someone into trouble. Helping someone who is being hurt is not tattling. It’s telling and standing up.

Teach simple ways to intervene safely or walk away so they are not part of the audience.

Encourage them to support peers.

Remind them that real leaders treat others with respect.

Standing up is not about aggression. It is about courage. It is about solidarity. It is about shifting power in healthy ways.

Standing Together

Pink Shirt Day is not about a colour or wearing a shirt. It is so much more. It is about belonging. It is about shared responsibility. It is about choosing not to be silent.

They stood together. They shifted power. And that is how we make change.

When we teach our children to stand up instead of stand by, and to stand together instead of stand alone, we are not just preventing bullying. We are building communities rooted in respect, empathy, and courage.